Out with the old, In with the new (Hello Again)

I’ve been battling with a lot of things lately. The biggest thing is grudges… I’ve been holding a lot of them lately and it’s very unhealthy. Slowly but surely I’ve been learning to let go of the bad. In all honesty, the beginning of high school and the end of it are two completely different chapters of life. Let me explain.

In the beginning of high school, almost everything was pure innocence. Drugs and alcohol were practically foreign. The drama was inevitable, No one wanted to confront each other in person, everything had to be done over text or the social media. The next day at school, the gossip would start; First with rumors, then dirty looks, and it usually ended with friends (who may I add weren’t involved in the fight) leaving. Freshmen girls loved to involve themselves in anything they could dig their claws into, even if it had nothing to do with them. Freshmen year contained the nosiest people and unnecessary drama.

Toward the end of these long four years, I’ve come to a certain realization:

If there’s a problem, fix it.

Tell people how you feel.

Don’t spread rumors. And stand up for friends. Don’t pick yourself up by putting others down.

Be kind when confronting someone, and if you can’t be kind at least be mature.

Maturity is ALWAYS the way to go, I cannot express that enough.

If you want someone in your life, you are going to have to put in effort too. If someone doesn’t want you in their life then don’t try to push your way through, you deserve to be loved, not unwanted and you deserve more than a childish chase. If someone is trying to push their way into your life, it’s probably for good reason. You are wanted, don’t neglect that gift.

Love. Love with all your heart. It doesn’t have to be a significant other- Love your friends. Give them your all. “Give and you will receive”. What will you receive? Memories, happiness, more love….I could keep going on and on.

If someone is saying something about you and it’s not true, don’t worry about it. If people don’t believe the truth coming from you then they aren’t good friends. If people believe it and they don’t even know you, don’t worry about it, because those people are the toxic you don’t need.

Don’t take your friends for granted. They’re the best, and if they aren’t then change the people you surround yourself with. It’s actually a very simple concept, don’t over complicate it.

Say yes. Something’s coming up? Concert, party, dinner, an event? Say Yes. So money is a struggle. Make a money jar and gradually save up. You’re young, you’re beautiful, LIVE! Don’t hold back, an opportunity may not come around again even if you think it might. Try new things.

If I had known even half of these things in my earlier high school years would have been just as amazing as this year has been so far! I know I’m really repetitive with the whole ‘live life’ motto but it’s true, life is short. It’s not that I’ve figured out how to deal with certain things, it’s that my new mindset has made everything simpler and more realistic.

Look Up

   Maturity entwines with the ability to be empathetic, one must know how others will feel when they do or say something. But actually taking that into account when you’re about to do something shows maturity. 

   Social Media has taken over so much of who everyone is today. Social Media is part of people’s personalities and appearance. The amount of followers, publicity, and acknowledgments define who a person is nowadays. Through Social Media, people think they’re invincible. Some don’t realize that what they say can actually hurt someone. NOT because they’re sensitive but because everyone has a weakness, an achilles heel, a soft spot.

   Nowadays, we use texting as our number one source of “getting to know someone”, but is that really getting to know someone? Face to face encounters are declining rapidly while texting and commenting on Instagram and tweeting or increasing horrendously. 

   Something so amazing and miraculous might be about to happen and some people wouldn’t notice it because they’re looking down at their phones, IPads, or IPods.

   Look up more often and actually open your eyes. You don’t have to post a picture on Twitter, because whether you do or not… It still happened and you still did it, you don’t have to share it with the hundreds of followers you call friends. Live in the moment, not on Social Media.  

   *Take a moment and YouTube “Look Up” and watch the short video* 

The Waiting Game

   You can only do so much. You can only put so much effort into something. You can only express something so much. You can only get to someone so much. A healthy friendship isn’t one where you’re the only one putting in all the effort, a healthy relationship is one where both/all sides are putting effort, and loving each other, and being happy together. I guess I find myself planning a lot of events because if I don’t then I’m the one left out. And even if I do, people are flaky and indecisive. So what’s the point? If I have to put in all the effort then something isn’t working and something needs to change. I can be that change. I can be the deciding factor. Once I walk away it’s the way others respond, whether they are hurt or if they don’t care. I guess it’s when you turn your back that people show their true colors.

   You’ve got to turn your back and wait…. wait to see if there’s blood gushing from your back from the knife that someone places between your shoulder blades or to see if they grab your arm, spin you around and hug you. Taking a chance can hurt sometimes, but it can also be the most effective thing in your life. 

  I always enjoyed the saying, “people walk out of your life so that others can walk into it”. It’s 100% true. Not only have I met the most amazing people over the course of a couple months but I’ve also built on the relationships I already have with people. Getting to really know someone is one of the most satisfying things. 

 In every life there comes a few times were one comes to a sudden, abrupt, realization. My first beneficial realization came, not too long ago. Beneficial meaning I actually took something and learned from it.   

Update

I haven’t been blogging much lately… I’ve been writing secretly but not publicly blogging…

I guess I’m just going through a lot, mostly regret and memories. It’s going go be a rough couple of weeks, maybe even months. Just bare with me. No, I don’t want to talk about it. I’m dealing with it.

The Best Gift

Oh, the joy of being a high school girl and the attempts we make to please others and become who we are not. People’s expectations and opinions overwhelm us and tempt us, they become little voices not just by your ear… but little voices inside of your head speaking to you during every decision you contemplate .

Guys continuously advertise how they want a girl who’s down to smoke with them, but wait, if you smoke too much then you’re just nasty.

“Oh you go to parties? You’re going to hell. Oh you don’t party? What a prude.”

“You drink? Disgusting. You don’t drink? What a goody-two shoes.”

No one can respect the fact that some people are strong, so strong that they haven’t even given into the temptations that high school brings about. For now on, I’m going to make it a habit to respect what people do, because that’s amazing… you do you no matter what people say. You do you no matter if people think it’s gross or too goody-good. The strongest gift anyone could obtain is the gift of being able to do whatever you want and not care about the judgements thrown your way.

So go get that gift.

The Oddest Love

   Today I realized how truly blessed I am to have the family I have. My family loves me and each other even though they express it in sometimes the oddest ways.

   Like when my aunt and mom question my whole entire high school life style or when my grandpa pokes fun at me or yanks on my hair and mocks me. When my grandma plays with my hair and tickles my back while she’s sitting on the most uncomfortable bleachers. Or when my dad comes home from a long day at work and just wants to fly kites and play with our dog.

   Love can even be the simple things, such as when my grandpa takes turns rubbing my mom’s back and then my grandma’s back. Love is worrying. Love is when your grandparents take a dog into their own household just so I don’t have to give her away. Love is saying “I love you madly” even when you’re mad at each other. Or when your grandparents always offer ice cream, even before dinner. Love is shown through the pictures our cousins draw for each other with writing on it that’s supposed to spell out our names.

   And last but not least, love, is on our family. 

10 things

I’ve been teaching myself a few things lately:

1. Closure allows for other opportunities to come my way.
2. NEW FRIENDS ARE AWESOME
3. Trying everything is a good thing
4. Don’t be afraid
5. It’s okay to frown sometimes
6. You don’t always have to make people happy, being happy starts with yourself
7. Love with all your heart
8. Laugh at everything
9. Be ridiculous
10. And the most empowering thing is being yourself and not caring what others think.

 

And I have come to the conclusion that this list is what’s been making me the happiest these past few weeks. 

 

 

Goodbyes aren’t always easy

Dear Twenty Thirteen,

You have brought me a lot- a lot of smiles, a lot of tears, but most of all a lot of memories. 

 A loved one was taken away in January which brought obstacles I learned to overcome and which made me stroner. 

In February, I went to the Rodeo…a place i hadn’t been in forever and it was that car ride home, where we almost hoped out of the car to give a cowboy a kiss.

We all have one boring month, that month for me just happened to be March.

The Pima County Fair came in April where I met two people who I now call my best friends…two girls I wouldn’t trade for the world. 

May closed off my sophomore school year…It was the beginning to one of the best summers of my life. Although saying goodbye to a lot of my friends who were graduating was hard I also met a lot of new people. 

June was a month of sunburns, smiles, and laughs. It was “Summer time and the living [was] easy”. It was also my best friend’s 16th birthday which brought more memories. June consisted of many spontaneous decisions. Our summer soundtrack consisted of “Made in America”, “Radioactive”, “Centipede”, “Blurred Lines”, “I Love It”, “Done” and “That’s my Kind of Night” along with maaaaany more country songs.

July, my birthday month, was probably one of my favorite month’s this year. It brought me closer to my friends and family. It also brought about three concussions and never ending scrapes on my legs. Almost every weekend I had friends over to swim and hangout which of course brought many laughs.

August was hectic yet happy. Whip cream fights and bloody noses along with frowned upon mishaps that always ended in smiles were what almost every weekend consisted of. 

September was an amazing month because I got to support my best friend while he kicked ass on the football field, I also met a lot of new friends in the Black Hole. It was also the start up of YoungLife which is where some of my best memories and friends have been made.

Homecoming week was the highlight of October. Spirit week and the homecoming game made going to school worth it. It was also the month of my best friend’s birthday and one of my favorite things to do is give people presents, so that was another highlight. Supporting Rylee throughout her volleyball season was also fun; cheering her on and watching her grow in talent always made me happy. 

November was a very spontaneous month. YoungLife camp gave me a whole new outlook on life. Taina’s birthday brought a lot of crazy, half-remembered memories. Dancing in the rain, going to the midnight showing of Catching Fire, and Black Friday shopping also brought many memories. 

And now here we are, in December. Winter Formal and Winter Formal Spirit Week was one to remember. All city YoungLife was definitely one for the books. Winter Haven with some of my favorite people really helped me get into the Christmas spirit and this Winter Break has been a reaaaaaally good one, It pretty much consists of hangout with Mckayla every other day and trying to find something to do so it’s been memorable. 

Twenty Thirteen, you’ve been good to me…but all good things must come to an end. So this is goodbye, you will always be loved and you will be missed. And you will be a year that goes down in the books. 

Thank you for bringing people into my life who I now call my best friends. Thank you for throwing me obstacles that have made me stronger. And finally, thank you for giving me a year to find myself. 

 

 

 

2014,

I only ask a few things from you.

Please keep my friends and family safe and healthy.

Please bring me many more memories and friends to remember.

And please, allow me to be happy.

 

Semi Finals

    With winter comes many great things: Christmas (and the spirit it brings), Hot cocoa, Winterhaven, Christmas music, oh and how could I forget…..finals. 

    Being a student who stresses and has the worst anxiety over tests sucks, I know the material I just….blank. So five Starbucks study dates should get me half way there but I’m going to need about five more Monsters to keep me up so I can study all night.

So to all those high school and college students: May the odds be ever in your favor, and let the games begin.

Tied Down

    I am not a commitment person. Why? Because it’s one thing that scares me. 

    I don’t know what college to commit to or even how I’ll take it when I end up committing to one. What happens if I don’t like it? Or find a better option? I just don’t like being tied down to one thing, one spot, one home. 

    Like most girls, my family asks the same question non-stop: “How do you not have a boyfriend yet?!”. Let me tell you something, family, I have actually chosen to not have one. I just don’t understand the point of being so tied down in high school. High school is supposed to be the place where you start to find yourself. To find yourself, you’ve got to throw yourself out there, you’ve got to be spontaneous, and you’ve got to explore your options! But how can you do that when you’re already committed to someone? Yes, love with all your heart. Yes, fall in and out of love. Yes, be passionate. But why devote your whole existence to another person?

    I like change, in fact, i love it. Yeah, it’s a bitter sweet thing but change really helps shape a person. I hope I don’t contradict myself when I say that though, because I am completely willing to change my outlook on relationships and committing myself to something or someone… There just hasn’t been anything or anyone to change my opinion and for now, at least, I am completely okay with that.  

 

 

 

 

(P.S. In no way am I bagging on the girls or guys

who are in a relationship, I’m just stating my own

personal opinions and quirks.)